Tue, January 13, 2026

Why Boys Need the Arts

By Margaret White, Interim Director of Outreach and Enrollment, Saint Thomas Choir School

In a darkened room, roughly 20 young boys are gathered around a large television screen, snuggling with stuffed animals and munching on snacks. The Super Mario Bros. movie is playing, the boys chiming in with laughter and commentary as they catch the jokes and video game references. Then a pivotal, dramatic scene: the wedding of Bowser and Princess Peach. As Mendelssohn’s wedding march plays, Peach marches down the aisle, clearly apprehensive. The music continues as Bowser announces his plan to sacrifice all of his prisoners in honor of their wedding day and cages containing Peach’s friends descend towards a pit of lava. The tension in the room is palpable.

“You know,” pipes up one boy. “Mendelssohn didn’t even originally write that as a wedding march. It only became popular for weddings much later.”

This is a typical Friday night at Saint Thomas Choir School. These are ordinary little boys, except when they aren’t. They love Legos and ping pong and sour candy, but they are also passionate and highly knowledgeable about choral music. They study the usual academic subjects and play soccer and basketball against other New York City schools, but they are also professional musicians.

At Saint Thomas Choir School, all of our students—usually about 25 to 30 of them—are choristers in the Saint Thomas Choir of Men and Boys, which sings five services each week at Saint Thomas Church Fifth Avenue, as well as several concerts each year. As a boarding school for grades three through eight, we require our students to live away from home at an earlier age than most, but we take great care to make sure that each of them is known and loved and that the Choir School becomes their home away from home. They live, work, learn, and play in our small residential community while receiving intensive training in both vocal and instrumental music.

When I tell people about where I work, they often comment on how wonderful it is that we give boys a chance to be artistic leaders at a time in their lives when, in co-ed environments, the arts are so often dominated by girls. And while that was not the original intention of the institution—Saint Thomas Choir School was founded in 1919 in a choral tradition that has existed for well over a thousand years—I think I speak for many of my colleagues when I say that we are proud to be showing, through the work of our small school, the power of arts education for all children, but especially for boys.

Music is the backdrop for nearly everything we do here. The boys’ musical program includes daily choir rehearsals, weekly private vocal and instrumental lessons, and music theory classes and dedicated practice time woven into the academic schedule. By the time they leave us, they have not only become accomplished musicians but also developed skills that extend far beyond the musical sphere. As Eric Rice, Associate Professor of Music History at the University of Connecticut, said in his commencement address to the Choir School class of 2023, “You have learned a lot about music, but you have also learned from music.” But what is it, exactly, that they learn?

They can do hard things

Without a doubt, the program at the Choir School is demanding. We ask a lot of our boys in the classroom, in athletics, in their communal life, and above all, in music. They are expected to learn about a dozen pieces of choral music each week, or roughly 400 pieces per school year, and be ready on a few days’ notice to perform them alongside adult professionals. We also equip them with the skills and support they need to meet these demands, and in succeeding, they learn they are capable of overcoming challenges both at school and throughout their lives.

A key thing the boys learn through choral singing is that they can depend on others to help meet success. “I love the choir because it’s not just you singing, it’s you singing with everyone else,” says one student. Adds another, “As a community together, you kind of feel that you are a part of it, so you don’t have to really be scared. It doesn’t matter how big or little your voice is, you’re still helping out the choir and your voice is heard.” The beauty of a choir is that while no single voice can be heard above the others, the sound is discernibly different if any one voice is not present. It’s a microcosm of the balance between individuality and collaboration that must often be struck to conquer the obstacles life throws at us.

They matter

Through singing five services each week, the boys have an opportunity to engage with the church congregation and to see that they matter in a way that many children their age may not feel they do. “I think it really gives them a sense of purpose and meaning to recognize that their musical gifts are impacting the spiritual lives of others,” says houseparent and school nurse Claire Griffin. Saint Thomas Choir School students do what they do not just in the privacy of a rehearsal room, but in a format that publicly and tangibly makes a difference.

One of the most powerful benefits of an artistic performance is the opportunity to see the impact it has on the lives of others. This is true for any artist, from the most-awarded actor on Broadway all the way down to a child at his first music recital. Arts education is vital because it shows children their importance and power in a world that may seem to belong to those older than they are. At Saint Thomas, there are opportunities to perform and to witness that importance not just once or twice a year, but almost every day. Says head of school Christopher Seeley, “It’s amazing that boys who are nine or ten or 13 years old have this sense of not just what they can do, but what they can do in service of other people.”

They’re allowed to be their true selves

When new students come to us, they often report having been one of the only boys at their previous schools to show an interest in music and the arts. Before Saint Thomas, it wasn’t “cool” for them to love to sing; here, it’s the prevailing interest shared by just about everyone. I was once on an introductory phone call with a prospective parent who said, “You’ve never seen a boy who loved singing so much.” I replied that I was pretty sure I knew of about 25 others; her son is now thriving in his second year at the Choir School.

In a March/April 2023 Monitor on Psychology cover story on supporting boys’ success at school, Zara Abrams addresses the issue of gender socialization, the way society teaches children that certain interests are best suited only to one particular gender. The article offers psychologist Saed Hill’s phrase “restrictive masculinity” to describe “the way expectations of men and boys can limit their options for career paths, relationships, and self-expression,” and cites research that shows single-sex schools can offer boys a safe space to explore activities that are not traditionally masculine “with fewer social ramifications.” At Saint Thomas, we take this one step further by not allowing, even actively encouraging, boys to pursue their passion for music.

All emotions deserve to be felt

The Monitor on Psychology article discusses gender socialization in regard to its effect on emotions as well as interests and activities. Abrams writes that “as boys grow up, adults and pop culture messages often push them to project an image of dominance, indifference, and self-sufficiency while hiding vulnerability, curiosity, and the need for intimacy.” In short, society tells boys that some feelings are not for them to feel, or at least for them to express.

Music, like other artistic pursuits, allows boys to tap into the full spectrum of human emotions. As Choir School students move through the liturgical year, they sing music that feels all feelings deeply, from the anticipation of Advent, to the sorrow of Ash Wednesday, to the unbridled joy of Easter morning. Through their singing, our boys learn to feel and recognize all of their emotions, even the most vulnerable, and to express them in a productive way.

Of course, what we do at Saint Thomas Choir School is far from the norm. Music plays a much larger role in our students’ lives than it does in the lives of most people. But I don’t mean to suggest that attending a school like ours is the only way for boys to reap the benefits of an arts-focused education. As our Head of School says, “The cultivation of an environment of care, the development of the skill and ability to do great and challenging things, the confidence and empathy necessary to live well in community can and should be at the heart of every boy’s upbringing.” All boys—indeed, all children—deserve to know that they and their feelings are known and loved, that what they do matters, and that they are capable of more than they know. Allowing them, or rather encouraging them, to pursue the arts is an excellent way to teach that.

Margaret White is the Interim Director of Outreach and Enrollment and a member of the residential faculty at Saint Thomas Choir School, a boarding school for boys in grades 3-8 in midtown Manhattan.

This article appeared in the 2025 issue of the Parents League Review. Get the current issue of the Review free with a family membership. Or purchase it separately.